Dan And Phil's Lick Race
by GeorgiaPhan
Summary: Just saw the video and couldn't resist but write this :') An argument from who is collecting the post leads to an Oreo licking fest ..smut... :)


"Hey.. Dan?" Phil whispered into Dan's ear.

"What?" He mumbles. "It's early." His voice was muffled by his pillow, which he pulled towards his face in a protest.

"The post man is here."

"Don't you dare get me to go and get the post! You have no excuse... you're awake!" He sat up quickly and raised his eyebrows at Phil.

"Not any more!" He grinned, plunging his head onto his pillow as he began to fake a snore.

"Cute. But unbelievable." Dan sighed, lying down beside his boyfriend. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see who can be bothered. It won't

be me."

"The post... the post man... no don't go... Dan is coming..." Phil moans, pretending he is asleep.

"No... wait.. Phil is going to get the beautiful... letters and bills... which he will pay... because ... because he loves me..."

"Hang on.. Mr Postman... did you know... did you know you are kinda cute? I think Dan would... I think Dan would like to open your letter and

sign his name on the... bottom..."

"Wait a... wait a second... Postman Pat... Phil wants a Postman Pat on the arse..."

"Please Mr Postman... Dan is coming down on you... he is just walking the... walking the stairs now... yeah... the lift is broken... he's coming

down on you by... himself."

"Right. That is it. That is it." Dan huffed, throwing on his worn-down converses after quickly putting his dinosaur onsie on, and headed for the

door. "You owe me."

"Ok." Phil sighed sarcastically, rolling over and stretching his legs across the bed.

Dan returned with a bundle of post, some addressed to himself, others to Phil, and threw them at Phil's head.

He missed. It hit Phil's butt instead.

"Hey!" He exclaimed, slipping off his Batman boxers to check for a mark.

"Don't worry. All I can see is a cute, pale, little bubble butt. Belonging to a very annoying, in debt, pale man."

"Not everyone can have a tan like you." He rolled his eyes. "But in saying that, your's has kinda disappeared... since you haven't been outside

properly for quite a while."

"Oi! What do you count getting the post then?"

"You stayed inside the building."

"My hand didn't! I had to contaminate my hand with outside London air to retreive this bounty!" Dan gestured to the letters by Phil, running his

hand across his behind. "I slipped." He explained, mock defensive, as Phil cleared his throat.

"Wow. Hang on.." He held Dan's hand close to his face, inspecting it. "Yes. Yes! I can really see the glow in that. Mmm... tanned beyond belief!

Dan, with that colour, you should really consider a career in hand modelling! I'm sure the glve companies of London would be keen to have you

on their team of fully trained, tanned models."

"Ok, Mr Sarcy, please don't you forget who just ventured into the world of social awkwardness in order to get that bundle of beautiful bills."

"Oh yeah. Slipped my mind.."

"Which is like a sieve." He interrupted. "Keeps all the shitty stuff."

"One of those pieces of information is your birthday. And your favourite biscuits."

"And those would be...?" Dan grinned.

"June 11th. And these bad boys." He replied, throwing a pack of double stuffed Oreos at his face.

"Ouc... Yum!" He ripped the pack open, twisted and licked the cream off of the dark biscuit.

"You do that pretty well." Phil smirked.

"You should know." Dan made a show of licking the white gunk off, wiggling his eyebrows comically at Phil.

"You don't usually do it so well to me."

"You don't taste as good."

"Ow. That hurt." Phil mocked an injury.

"There there. Heal the pain with one of these bad boys."

"I know one of those."

"Hmm?"

"A bad boy. I know one of those."

Dan blushed, giggling.

"Yeah.. PJ does really know how to use that tongue of his."

This earnt Phil a shove, which sent him flying off of the side of the bed. He landed with a loud thump.

"Ouch!" He giggled, attempting to pull his boxers back up, as he had not put them back on since Dan had thrown the bundle.

"You deserved that." He spoke with a mouthful of white goo; a strand ran down his chin, he wiped it off as Phil sat back onto the bed.

"You're supposed to swallow that stuff, you know, right?"


End file.
